Karan Henley Haugh, Ph. D. 3m 844

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Read This Confession To Me

She had been sitting in the sunny classroom when he got in right before the bell rang and sat in the empty seat beside her. She could not help but notice him. He was so good-looking with blond hair and the blue eyes that caught hers in a glimpse that lasted one second.

The teacher had her grey hair twisted up on her head. She introduced herself as “Miss Rowe” and the 7th grade English class started to contrast compound and complex sentences and diagram them. It was the first class in a new school and she was an Ace student especially in English, but all she could do was sneak peaks at the young man who sat to the right of her.

Eventually, she learned from social studies class where he also appeared that his name was Craig and that name filled her diary for hours that evening.

He was a bright student. He was in all her accelerated classes in Middle School and in all of her Advanced Placement classes in High School. He was also an athletic hero—a champion wrestler and eventually the quarter back on the football team. He seemed rather shy despite it all, and his friends always teased him about having to get him a girlfriend. For her, dates were usually with her girlfriends or at dances at school where she never seemed to get the ideal partners.

Although she was pretty, she also was painfully shy. So she wrote her observations, her hopes and dreams about her “beau” in her diary which numbered one, two, three and more volumes. So much of the work was about one individual—Craig.

As the time for dating became more in demand, she hoped and prayed that he would at least talk with her. He said very little to her, smiled at her on occasion and showed interest when she spoke in class, but he never seemed particularly drawn to her. He was one of the stars of the school, surrounded by a coterie of beautiful girls and sports buddies—all popular and well to do students. Daily she almost begged for him to say something to her. For him to ask her out would have floored her. Other guys asked her out but she cut them off. There was no one in her heart but he.

He was the Wrestling Champion of the State, a major Football hero, President of the Student Council, a member of all the important social and academic clubs and associations. Then when there was a special scholarship available for a guy and a girl, who should receive this but he and she! It was a scholarship which would pay for full tuition for a bachelor’s degree at any University in the country. She knew where she was going. She knew where her dreams were leading her, but she had no idea about him.

She never learned where he lived, in which part of the City, what his parents did, what social bracket they fit. These were all blanks for her. Then came the issue of where he would be going to College. For six years they had been in the same classes often side by side. She had written constantly about him, dreamed so much about him, imagined a sweet relationship with him, adored him almost visibly. Who couldn’t tell how much she loved him, she wondered? At that moment it looked as though all her dreams would be destroyed.

During the last week, the Yearbooks were ready. Everybody was writing messages and signing them. Often addresses at least for homes were exchanged, and promises were made to stay in touch. No matter how much things were to change, the promise was to stay in touch. People were busy writing in her yearbook and she was busy writing in others’ yearbooks. However, he did not make a gesture towards her.

Had her six year infatuation been for naught? What would become of her without him? The last class they had together was Calculus and Trig. It was a class of perhaps 30 guys and 3 girls and she struggled through it the last of the girls to make it. He would go off somewhere in the country—she thought he intended to be an engineer—but she would never see him or hear from him again. The thought of that nearly knocked her over. She felt her heart beating madly.

He had all his sports buddies and cheerleaders and other affluent/beautiful girls surrounding him. They were signing and patting backs and wishing well. His clique followed him from classroom to classroom. It was as though they were a flock of birds set on a path, careless of any obstacles. She watched them float about from room to room down stairwells, through hallways. At one point he even stood directly in front of her and hesitantly smiled. That was all. Others talked to her, but she was lost. Her dream was over. It had come to its end. He would be lost to her.




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