To His Head Literally
I work for a software company doing technical support. I don’t mind my job. You do what you got to do to get a paycheck. That’s about it. I don’t hate my job, but it would probably be better if the boss wasn't there. Everyday, he always has something to say to me and will do his best to try and belittle and humiliate me, but it doesn't bother me. I just tend to ignore him and do my own thing.
I've had plenty of bosses in my life, where they think they are better than everyone else. This one just lets it go to his head, literally (as you’ll read later). He thinks he’s smarter than everyone else and his ideas are the only thing that matter in the world. Everyone around the office usually just lets him have his own way in order to get rid of him. He certainly loves people that try to fight him, but unless you've got a good argument, he’s going to do his best to embarrass you in order to feel better about himself. He is a micro-manager that really has no real people skills unless you consider bitching and complaining to his employees about doing their jobs and threatening to take away pay, bonuses, etc. as such.
Anyways, one day, after lunch, things were quiet. A little too quiet. I wondered where he was. Normally, he’d peak over the wall of the cubicle and you could always hear his heavy breathing if he was in the area, or he would do his best to tip toe (you always could hear him no matter what because he’s a big guy), and stand behind you to see what you were doing.
So I saw that the boss had his door closed. There is a window into his office and seeing as I’m a pretty tall guy I can easily peek without being seen. I peered into it, which gives you a view from behind his chair to see into his entire office and what I saw was quite disturbing!
He had his laptop opened and on the screen was a young woman in lingerie and he was masturbating! I couldn't believe it! Seriously, this dude was jerking off like there was no tomorrow. Choking, yanking, jacking, stroking! I guess if you’re the owner of a business and you've got nothing better to do but micromanage people and boss them around, you are going to go into your office at any time of your leisure and masturbate to the idea that you are the owner of all you survey. Really though, there is a time and a place for that!
I never did let him know that I knew. I told several people in the office. Now none of us can ever look at him the same way again. When he tries to shake any of our hands, we all have to come up with excuses to not shake hands with him. Just remember, the next time you shake hands with your boss, or anybody, just think about where else that right hand may have been that day.
If you enjoyed this confession story, make sure you subscribe to the Confessions RSS feed!
You can also follow Confessions on Twitter.
You can also subscribe to the Weekly Confessions Digest.
- I've had plenty of bosses in my life, where they think they are better than everyone else.
- My boss loves people that try to fight him and argue to feel better about himself.
- One day, I peered into his office and caught him masturbating!
- When he tries to shake any of our hands, we all have to come up with excuses to not shake hands with him.
- The next time you shake hands with your boss, or anybody, just think about where else that right hand may have been that day.