The Unseen Life Of An Undercover Police Agent
I wanted to share some light on what its like to be an undercover police agent and confess the hardships and unseen real life encounters that are faced. I can’t reveal my name because I still work undercover but I will give you a short BIO of myself. I have been in law enforcement going on 13 years. I started when I was really young at the age of 19.
The first part of my career started off working patrol for city and county agencies until I worked really hard and landed a job with the state police. I have been working in an undercover roll for the last 7 years and it has changed my life drastically. Dont get me wrong I love my job and it can be very rewarding however, I wanted to confess and bring to life some of the real hard truths about the job.
The biggest confession I have to make is one that is the hardest to live with and that is the way I look at the average citizen. It is hard to trust people when you see the worst of the worst on daily basis. Not to mention sometimes you feel like you can’t even trust yourself because you live a double life style. Even though my job and work is for a greater purpose its still one you have to learn to cope with and stay grounded.
Undercover work is a lot different than what it looks like on TV where police and the good guys always win and kick ass. That just isn’t so in the real world. I have seen many of my friends and closest buddies get seriously injured and hurt and some that never made it home to their families. On TV you always see the undercovers getting out of trouble by extreme measures which is possible if it comes down too it but in real life most of the time you get out of very bad situations by being able to talk yourself out of trouble. The most successful undercovers are ones that learn all cultures and races and allow themselves to fit in and feel comfortable around everyone they come in contact with and most of the time it is the very thing that gets them out of trouble.
Not very long ago I was working in the middle of no where and my assignment was to purchase cocaine from person X out of a “Trap House” which is exactly what it sounds like, a trap. I was already very nervous because I was not familer with the target or the area. I pull up to the house all by myself and meet three guys standing on the front porch. I greeted them and they started acting really fishy so I kept my eyes on them while walking into the house. As I entered the front door I noticed the three suspects reach under the porch and each grab guns. I’m thinking to myself that its over there is no way I’m leaving here this afternoon. I did the best to keep my cool and just started to make conversation. I continued on into the house to make contact with the main target and noticed that the house was full of subjects with weapons as well. I mumbled a prayer under my breath and did what I have been trained to do: make the buy and get out as quickly as possible.
I ended up smooth talking myself out of trouble by promising to spend a lot more money and set up a deal they couldn’t turn down. At a later date the target came clean and told me that they had planned to rob and kill me that afternoon. He said the only thing that kept me alive was the way I talked and carried myself during the drug deal. I made several more purchases from him after the incident and ended up making a lot of cases by going back to that trap house. He eventually got charged on multiple counts and is serving life in Federal prison. I’m pretty sure he is sitting there wanting to kill me again now that he knows who I am due to testifying but it made me get to come home safe that night.
I try not to take anything for granted and appreciate each and every night that I get to come home safe. I have a very exciting job but one that comes with a lot of sacrifices. I have gone through long periods of not seeing my family and kids. Its not a real good feeling when your own kids don’t recognize you because of your appearance nor when your wife wants to be seen with you in public. Hell there has been times when I myself did not want to go into public. People treat you a lot different when you have a certain grungy look. It was something that I have still not gotten use to this very day.
I have to confess sometimes I wonder why I do what I do. The only answer I can come up with is most people are smart enough not to do it. It is a job I dont want my sons doing and I will do everything in my power to make sure they don’t. I felt like just sharing one of the many stories with you that I have and could tell. I hope that for those of you who appreciate the police and see them more as just the prick that writes you a speeding ticket on main street will say a prayer for those of us who work undercover and in uniform. I wish I could find the special person that prayed for me that day in the trap house so I could wrap my arms around them and thank them for giving me one more day with my family and friends.
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