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Note: due to the sensitivity of this confession, names have been changed for my protection.
When the health care industry started booming, a lot of “parking-lot-retail-patient-care-shops” started opening up. Many of these employed very recent graduates of “technology institutes,” “community colleges,” or “academies of medical colleges.” For all of these shops, there was actually always a real medical doctor’s name on the shingle, and most times he could even be reached by cell phone, in the rare case of what someone decided to be an actual emergency. We were under strict instructions to never call an ambulance. I prayed every day that I didn’t have to be part of a situation where I knew an ambulance was unquestionably required – honestly, I didn’t know if I would be able to make that 9-1-1 call or not.
The worst part of this retail medical care environment, was NOT the poor care the “customers” received, or the double billing by the managers, or the phony prescriptions written by the “medical professionals” who catered to the drug addicts engaged in doctor shopping. Nope, all that aside, that was NOTHING compared to the cannibalism that the employees practiced on one another; specifically two recent baby graduates: one from the community college and one from the institute of technology.
This work place thought of me as an old lady because I just turned 29. The oldest person under me, was 22. Six or seven years may not seem like a world of difference, but in this twisted work place, it was. The environment, because of the babies who were hired straight out of a faux medical college, was nothing short of a blend between “Trump’s Apprentice” and ”Survivor Island.” I thought I had seen it all, but the plotting and scheming that went on in this place reached a new level of evil, insanity, and stupidity combined.
Those little girls, who showed up for work every day to administer care to the sick and injured, were more concerned that the sunglasses they wore on top of their heads were exactly like those worn by Khloé Kardashian, than they did about their jobs. One would start gossiping about the other, and of course, the person who first heard that version of gossip, passed it on. This nonsense occurred on a daily basis, and nothing I could do would stop it. It was like a giant meteor heading toward the earth. Even if the gossip was not about you, you would be drawn into it somehow, and suffer severe burns before the end of the work day.
One little girl from the community college, thought that another little girl from the institute of technology was trying to make her seem incompetent. This was impossible, as they were all equally incompetent. Well, the community college baby (CCB) felt as though she was entitled to seek vengeance. I never understood why these baby girls felt as though they were obligated to seek revenge for an imagined offense, but there must have been some logic to it, as they devoted most of their waking to the effort.
This is how it began. CCB went to the community kitchen, and stole all of institute of technology baby’s (ITB) red bull from the fridge, walking it out to the dumpster, making sure when the trash truck came that morning, all evidence of the crime would be gone.
Next, CCB sent an official looking e-mail, providing a fake address with the extension @MedxCare.com (which was our company’s email identifier) to the ITB. The fake email read as follows:
“Dear Bitch. The skank hoe who works on Tuesday nights was seen taking all of your Red Bull. She hates your f*cking, fat butt.”
We didn’t know it at the time, but this fake email started a poop storm, eventually leading to prison terms for two employees, and the closing of our business.
At first, no one knew what was going on. When ITB came in and read the email, she was so young (and dumb), she believed it, took it as total truth. She started slamming things and when I asked her what was going on, she replied that the woman who works on Tuesday’s stole all of her red bull, when it was clearly marked with a note, with her name on it, in the refrigerator.
I asked her how she knew, and she showed me the anonymous e-mail. I told her it was a joke, that someone was playing with her head, to ignore it, and that I would replace her red bull. This line of reasoning only infuriated her more.
I went out at lunch, purchased two six packs of Red Bull, and gave them to her, telling her that I don’t want any trouble in this office. Because I was the old lady of 30, I had seen this kind of nonsense before, and knew right away how easily this could blow up. I wanted to avoid that meteor from hitting the earth and if it cost me $15 to replace her energy drink, it was a small price to pay for peace and tranquility in this tiny work place.
I thought that was the end of this Red Bull matter, until two days later. I got a call from my boss’s boss. Apparently a flood of anonymous emails had been sent to the FBI, DEA, and Homeland Security, from inside of our little first care retail shop. Two of our employees were being falsely accused of a whole host of federal crimes. Our dumpy, little parking-lot-retail-patient-care-shop was being investigated by federal agencies. I wasn’t even allowed to quit, as I was ordered to stay during the federal ordered audit.
None of us knew exactly what was going on. We were all in the dark. We started to guess about who was doing this to us, and thought it must be a few customers who had payment disputes with us. We never suspected it was our very own baby girl employees.
When the audit started, the state and federal investigators took out all of the computers, performing some sort of technology forensics. They found out that CCB e-mailed hundreds of anonymous whistle-blower-type reports, accusing ITB of stealing pain medications, writing false prescriptions, double billing the insurance companies, etc. Horrible, right? Our very own community college baby was poisoning our well.
But, it gets worse. Next, they discovered that ITB did the same thing, sent out hundreds of e-mails, falsely making reports against CCB. The difference being that institute of technology baby sent HER emails to federal agencies, accusing her rival of planning acts of terrorism. When this discovery was made known, I could not believe just how vindictive, not to mention stupid, she was.
These two youngsters, so stupid, caused so much trouble, wasted so much time, cost so many people their jobs. Why? I don’t think they even know. Each was charged, arrested, and convicted for making false statements to law enforcement.
One of the baby’s mothers still sends me hate mail, blaming me for her daughter’s actions. One day, I expect to walk out to my car, on my way to work, only to be met by a federal officer of some agency, falsely accusing me of engaging in some terroristic activity. Her daughter sent all of those anonymous emails, so probably the mother will turn me in to the police for something.