When I was 16, I knew where I would be now...... 10 years later at 26.
I was going to be a doctor, Psychiatrist to be exact, with a big beautiful house, and a brand new sleek Benz and a brand new high class Beyoncé and Jay Z yacht.
I try and swallow that memory with a huge gulp of water that im scarfing down between shows.
Did I see myself sitting in front of my computer with my 4 inch stilettos, 7 inch vibrating silicon dildo, and the best marijuana money could find in good ol' Las Vegas? Not at all.
But around 22 I came to the realization that life isn't as easy as I had hoped for and maybe I should have paid more attention in high school and maybe this is why people strive to go to a respectable university oppose to the local community college.
Did I see the error of my ways? Sure did but I was on the path of "What the hell do I do now" and no clue where to get off at.
I had a good, great job but it stood in the way of me continuing my education and thriving to my future potential and spreading my wings and flying like a butterfly and blah blah blah, so I quit.
One night on the couch I see an ad to become a cam model making UP TO (remember those two words, they are important) $10,000.000 a week!! SIGN ME UP! It's surprisingly easy to become a web cam model.
I found the first one I could google and signed up with joy, you know, because I am about to make $10,000.00 this week!!!! I only did a little browsing at the other girls before I decided, I can do this.
Once you figure out that cam modeling really has nothing to do with modeling, you have to decide if you can do something like this.
At this point I am 24 years old going on 25, feeling like a failure, lost in the world, not working, in one of the roughest financial times I have ever faced. "If I am willing to masturbate, people will pay me for it?" is my main thought. I mean, I masturbate anyways so why the hell not? This is where a cam model 101 class would have been great.
The majority of my day online is not masturbating...... it is doing something very opposite of masturbating while watching someone else masturbate.
What inspired this confession was me standing ass naked, in stilettos, stomping on every stuffed animal I could find in my house saying "die my little prettys" its called gigantism, and that's NOTHING.
My first night camming about two years ago consisted of a show with me pouring baby powder all over my bed and jumping in it. Sure it sounds weird, because it is but I promise it made that guy happy.
You mean to tell me, I can either get a job I hate making minimum wage waking up day in and day out devoting my time to making some company richer or I can stay at my bedside and double that in only a few hours stomping on teddy bears?
Are you telling me someone will pay me, by the minute, to sit topless while a man tells me how pretty I am? I masturbate every night, are you telling me there is a clientele that will pay me to do it and then smoke some weed after? No phone calls, no in-person meeting, I don't need to leave my bedroom to do this?
DEAL!! The suck part is the website is that is that it gouges your profits. If you make $100 but your site takes a 70% fee, guess how much that leaves you with..... about $30.
Now Let's say its a $20 tip....... you get $7, a $5 tip you get $1.75 after a while you get sick of doing all the work for a cyber pimp so you do like I do, open a Skype and Paypal (may you never utter these words on your cam site) so guess what, I make $100, I keep $100.
Am I proud? Not at all, I would be beyond embarrassed if any one in my real life found out. It can become a little addicting when you wake up in the morning and have a Skype request for a 1 hour show and know you just made more than you would have all day at most full time jobs. The money is transferred to your account and you have hardly even gotten out of bed yet!
As I find myself going further down the rabbit hole, I have a much larger client base builder, social media to maintain, and I have branched out to selling personal items such as panties, bras, socks, videos, and pictures of myself.
I am surprisingly good at what I am doing and I would consider myself successful. I am between a rock and a hard place, however, do I continue to branch out and go for as much success with this as possible or do I stop now before I am found out? Everyday one of my clients sends me cash, I love to flirt, I love being admired, and I love being spoiled.
Alas, I know that I want kids and I do not want them knowing about this. So I will need to find something "respectable" for all the judgy mc judgers who have decided that women (and men) who do what I do have to fit in some sort of low self-esteem uneducated box. Until then, I will enjoy the people, the fun times, and of course the money...... not so much the honey stuck in my crotch but I can deal! xoxoxoxoxo