Dear Ex-Customer (AKA Thief)
You asked me if I was willing to lose a customer over $5.00. I ended the phone call professionally and politely. But what I really wanted to say was "Did you enjoy losing your self respect over $5.00?"
Because, you see, I didn't lose a customer-- I lost a manipulating trouble maker at best. At worst, I lost a lying, abusive, domineering thief who likes to make the simple working class feel like the inside of a toilet bowl. Now, I understand that putting others in their place makes you feel better about your own pitiful self. Furthermore, I realize that service industry people are an easy target. Trained not to fight back, or have their own opinion. But, certainly you must have a hard time looking in the mirror if you are even half human.
Yes, this is you I am talking about. You decided to taste your side items before you left the drive thru two days ago. You decided they weren't hot enough and screamed at the employee to get new ones. Now we politely accommodated you even though those items can't possibly get cold at 12:15 when they fly out as fast as they can be made. Certainly, the other 200 people loved them (or at least did not feel the need to act like a child.) We would wait the few minutes for a new batch and bring them out to you if you would kindly pull forward. But that was unacceptable. Your sandwich would get cold. When we brought them out you had to voice your displeasure to another employee. She had to sit and listen while you told her that you are a teacher and don't have time for this kind of delay. We now know that you are far too important of a person to experience such a setback.
Unfortunately, your ranting did not cause the world to stop and give you the freebies you so desperately sought. The universe is well aware of your type. What type? You proved that yesterday.
You called and spoke with me at the busiest time (the time when you were hungry again). You said you were here yesterday and that your entire order was screwed up. You did not ask for the manager but simply asked if we sold a "cherry kind of drink" I said "Well, we don't make specialty drinks but we do have cherry pepsi, but I'm not sure if that is what you are seeking" You then changed tones and asked if I was the manager. I listened intently as you rambled on. The sandwich was cold, the side order was "not seasoned properly", and the drink was some kind of a cherry drink. At this point I know exactly who you are even though you didn't mention your complaints yesterday. You told me you don't have time to get out of the car to complain so you were letting me know today.
But still I pursue the high ground. I politely apologize. I assure you that we strive to have each and every customers experience be proper. That we will work hard to make sure your next visit is perfect if you would care to visit us in the future. But then you say "That is not good enough" you needed a coupon for your troubles, and you wanted the corporate number if I refused.
Now the gloves come off. Do you feel that we are all imbeciles compared to you--in your royal glory? No one really believes you even have a job. You didn't count on having the same person be aware enough to catch you in your scam did you? Are you telling me you didn't take one sip of the drink in the two minutes you waited? That you couldn't say a word about it when you said everything else that could be said. What's wrong? Your steaming hot side wasn't good enough. It wasn't seasoned properly. These things are uniform and seasoned the same in every location in the world. There is no potential user error. Local stores do not prepare them in any way. The other 5,000,000,000 orders were ok and yours not I guess. The sandwich you ordered is made from scratch every time. It does not get cold in two minutes. If you went through drive thru I don't think you planned to eat it that instant anyway (although if you were in a hurry you could have eaten it right there!) Trust me the two minutes didn't change it. No more than the two minutes extra it takes some people to drive 2 more minutes down the road (when they work farther away). Why would you wait until the next day to call? You obviously knew how to reach us (you proved that simply by calling when you did.) You didn't call yesterday because you had already griped up a storm. You were pampered by us every step of the way. But that wasn't good enough. You called the next day when you were hungry. You had it all planned out. The free meal was yours for the taking. Your mistake was in treating people like they are too dumb to comprehend a scam when they see one.
I have never lost a CUSTOMER over "$5.00". But I am happy to remove freeloaders every chance I get.
Original Source: best of craigslist: Dear Ex-Customer (AKA Thief)
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