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Cell Phone in Every Hand

Author: Anonymous
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Work has SUCKED this week so I decided to go into the office early this morning to catch up on some stuff. As I'm getting on the interstate at about 5:58 am, I notice that many of the drivers in the lane next to me are speaking on their cell phones. As I'm actually merging onto the entrance ramp, I notice that the driver of the car directly in front of me AND the driver of the car directly behind me are both on THEIR phones.

Now I could go on and on about how dangerous this is and how drivers who are distracted by their cell phones drive like idiots, but the fundamental question that hit me in the "Jesus Christ it's not even light outside yet" predawn hours of the early morning was simply, "WHO the FUCK are these people even TALKING to at THIS Hour?"

I mean, really.

Even if I wanted to distract myself from the 2 ton piece of metal I was driving at 70 miles an hour so that I could hold an electronic piece of crap up to my ear to socialize, I don't even know who I'd call at 6:00 in the morning - because everyone I know is FUCKING ASLEEP !!!! But apparently, based on my observations today, it's ME who is the exception to the rule - everyone else is jib jabbering away to someone!!!

And you KNOW these are not the "head surgeon talking the nervous young resident through the surgery while rushing to the hospital in morning traffic" type of calls but instead the inane bullshit "how are you doing?...oh that's niiiice...what are you up to?...You're driving to work?...Hey, I'M drivin' to work tooooo..." type of calls.

I was so pissed off, I almost dropped my cordless electric razor into my travel mug and splashed hot coffee on my lap and magazine.

But in all seriousness, are people today so in need of constant mental or social stimulation that they can't just enjoy the calm and solitude of being alone with just themselves and their thoughts for 20 freakin' minutes without feeling the need to get on the phone?

People, take my advice...enjoy the silence, meditate, think about the day and the tasks ahead of you, hell even listen to the radio if you need to hear another human voice but please, please, for the love of whatever deity you pray to, PUT THE FUCKING PHONE DOWN!

And now, what they all warned me would happen has finally happened - I've officially become my Dad...


Original Source: best of craigslist: Rant - A Cell Phone in Every Hand...EVERY Single Hand...



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  • While driving to work at 6 AM in the morning, I notice that many of the drivers in the lane next to me are speaking on their cell phones.
  • Who would they possibly be talking to and about what at this ungodly hour?
  • I was so pissed off, I almost dropped my cordless electric razor into my travel mug and splashed hot coffee on my lap and magazine.
  • Are people today so in need of constant mental or social stimulation that they can't just enjoy the calm and solitude of being alone with just themselves and their thoughts for 20 freakin' minutes without feeling the need to get on the phone?